Best Humor |
Why is a carrot more orange than an
orange? I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house. While I was gone, somebody rearranged all the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: 'Do I know you?' Doing a little work around the house, I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I'd be the only one who knew. People come over and I'm gonna say,'Go ahead, touch it... It feels real'. My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant. When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me! Do fish get cramps after eating? Why are there five syllables in the word "monosyllabic"? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air. |